Learning to Play With a Lion’s Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa

By Melissa Haynes

The cheeky identify of Melissa Haynes's tale of event in Africa, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles, earned the booklet a few immense exposure on NBC-TV/Late evening with Jimmy Fallon on September 4,2013 the place it crowned the show's record of "Titles to not learn" for September 2013. Melissa's publication was once additionally a massive spoil at the March eleven, 2014 Ellen Show, the place Ellen and visitor Ricky Gervais highlighted the e-book during the whole hour.

Playing with a lion’s testicles: An African announcing that implies to take foolhardy chances.

For the reader who has ever dreamed of going to Africa or is aware the discomfort of loss and guilt, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles will fill your soul.

Melissa, an exhausted govt from town seeks which means and function from her paintings volunteers for an enormous 5 conservation venture in South Africa. Her boss, an over-zealous ranger, nicknamed the Drill Sergeant, has no persistence for urban people, particularly if they're ladies. He attempts to ship her packing on day one, yet Melissa stands her floor with grit and resolution, even if shaky it may possibly be.

Conflict quickly units the speed with a forged packed with predatory cats and violent elephants, an on-going conflict of wits with the Drill Sergeant. Even mom Nature kilos the reserve with the worst typhoon in a century. however the so much enduring and profound clash is the interior conflict happening inside Melissa, as she attempts to come back to phrases with the guilt surrounding her mother's demise. while demise grips the sport reserve, it's the very animals Melissa has come to avoid wasting that prove saving her.

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I scream above what seems like Harrison’s demise gasps. “What is that? is that this truck loss of life? ” “Don’t fear, Harrison’s a champ, he won’t allow us to down! ” I can’t inform if he’s attempting to persuade me or himself. We come over the crest with an abrupt jolt. It’s even steeper at the different aspect. will probably be a miracle if Harrison remains in a single piece after being subjected to this thrashing. Harrison nostril dives over the sting and takes to the air down the hill. he's at his greatest velocity, and the pedal is at the ground. The speedometer reads 40 miles according to hour. now not sturdy, contemplating lions can run at speeds of 50 miles in step with hour. Harrison continues to be vigilant as he careens over huge rocks, and doesn’t even hesitate as he is taking out partitions of scrub brush. He’s horking and choking, yet incorporates on with unrelenting decision. The lionesses are nonetheless in sizzling pursuit, and never a ways at the back of them, the male has additionally joined the chase. They’re now not even panting, it seems like a simple jog for them. I, nonetheless, can slightly seize my breath from protecting on for pricey existence within this tin suicide field. The Drill Sergeant leans ahead over the steerage wheel, looking out the floor to prevent significant stumbling blocks. “I need to stop,” he eventually says. “What! ” I scream. “Why? ” “I need to open the again, permit the carcass out. ” “You’re going to get out of the truck? Are you loopy? ” in fact he’s loopy. He’s riding like a madman and has me striking onto a shred of steel that's the unmarried barrier among lifestyles and taking part in a harp with the angels. He’s going to be eaten alive if he will get out. They’re correct at the back of us! what's he pondering? He can’t die out right here. If he dies, what is going to ensue to me? I’m going to be the person who will get caught within the conserving development of these silly gates with a lion clawing me out in the course of the busted window. Harrison bottoms out in short in a ravine, yet then hurries up to the opposite facet. Hallelujah. I breathe a sigh of reduction, yet it’s fast snuffed out via my transforming into nervousness that the Drill Sergeant goes to get out of the truck. am i able to even take into account the way to force a stick shift? Harrison slides to a grinding halt. The Drill Sergeant leaps from at the back of the wheel and sprints to the again of the truck. I can’t watch, I don’t are looking to glance again. The final time I did, these lions couldn’t were greater than 100 yards at the back of us. I pay attention the clunk of the again open, and a fragment of a moment later, the Drill Sergeant is again within the driver’s seat. With a noisy hhhhhhuuuuuuuukkkkkkk, the transmission is jammed into opposite. we're now dashing down the hill backwards in one other video game of poultry with the lions. I jam my ft more durable into the rusty holes, the pointy steel pinches them, yet it’s nowhere close to as painful as rolling out my door into an expecting lion. The Drill Sergeant slams at the brakes, and that i slam into the dashboard. The carcass torpedoes out the again with brute strength, gaining peak and velocity, it hits the floor with a wide thud. The lions cease to examine the drop. The Drill Sergeant turns off the engine and tells me to sit down quietly and never circulate.

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